Feeling Sad About Getting Older? Read This
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As women in the Western world, we often feel sad about getting older. We want to start by saying that it’s normal and totally understandable that we feel this way. Our culture tells us that youth is valued above all else, and that women in particular lose value as they age. We’re bombarded with messages every day that tell us we need to stay young to be desirable, successful, and happy. But is that really true?
What it comes down to is this: it’s important to remember that 1.) getting older is a natural part of life, and 2.) it comes with its own unique benefits and joys.
So, how can we make peace with the aging process while still honoring our feelings? Keep reading to hear our take on it.
First, Question The Narrative
Our culture tells us that youth is everything. We see it in magazines, on TV, and in movies. We’re constantly told that we need to look a certain way, dress a certain way, and act a certain way to be considered attractive and valuable. We’re told that if we don’t look young, we’ll be overlooked for younger, more vibrant women. This message is reinforced by the beauty and fashion industries, which make billions of dollars each year by convincing women that they need to look younger to be happy.
Unfortunately, this message is also reinforced by our society as a whole. Women are often devalued as they age, with men being seen as more successful and powerful as they get older. This double standard is unfair and can make women feel like they’re losing value as they age.
But more and more we’re seeing examples of women standing up against this belief. In fact, more women than ever are reclaiming their power and proving that age is just a number (ahem, Michelle Yeoh)!
Despite the cultural pressures, there are tons of benefits to embrace about getting older as a woman. We tend to become more confident in ourselves and our abilities. We’re more comfortable in our own skin and have a better understanding of who we are as individuals. We also have more life experience to draw from. These are all things that can help us feel more content and fulfilled as we age, which is the opposite of what the societal narrative says we’re “supposed” to feel.
How To Cope With Aging As A Woman
Coping with aging as a woman can be challenging, but there are many things we can do to make the process easier. One of the most important things is to focus on our own self-care. This means taking care of our physical and emotional health, getting enough sleep, eating well, and exercising regularly. It also means making time for ourselves to do things we enjoy, whether that’s reading a book, taking a bath, or going for a walk.
Another way to cope with aging is to surround ourselves with positive influences. This means spending time with people who support us and uplift us, rather than tearing us down or showcasing negative attitudes about aging. It also means seeking out role models who are aging gracefully and who can show us that it’s possible to age with grace and dignity (and have fun while we do it!).
Growing old gracefully as a woman means embracing the changes that come with aging and accepting them as a natural part of life. This means focusing on the things that we can control, such as our attitudes and behaviors, rather than worrying about things that are out of our control, such as wrinkles or gray hair. It also means staying engaged with life and continuing to learn and grow as individuals.
An Exercise in Self-Compassion
One way we can start to shift our mindset about aging is through self-compassion. But how can we have a compassionate conversation with ourselves that leads to acceptance of getting older? Let’s explore some tips and strategies for doing just that:
- Acknowledge your feelings: The first step to having a compassionate conversation with yourself about aging is to acknowledge the feelings that may come up. It’s okay to feel sad or anxious about getting older, and it’s important to give yourself permission to feel those emotions without judgment or shame.
- Challenge negative self-talk: Negative self-talk can be a major obstacle to accepting aging. We may tell ourselves that we’re not as attractive, capable, or valuable as we once were. However, it’s important to challenge these negative thoughts and reframe them in a more positive light. For example, instead of focusing on what we may be losing, we can focus on what we’re gaining, such as wisdom, experience, and a deeper sense of self-awareness.
- Embrace self-compassion: Self-compassion is an essential component of having a compassionate conversation with ourselves about aging. This means treating ourselves with the same kindness and understanding that we would offer to a friend who is going through a difficult time. We can practice self-compassion by acknowledging our struggles and offering ourselves words of comfort and support.
- Celebrate your strengths: Another way to have a compassionate conversation with ourselves about aging is to celebrate our strengths and accomplishments. This can help to build our confidence and self-esteem, which can in turn help us to embrace the aging process with greater acceptance and positivity.
- Connect with others: Finally, connecting with others who share our experiences and concerns can be a powerful way to have a compassionate conversation with ourselves about aging. By sharing our stories and supporting one another, we can find strength and encouragement in our shared journey. Or at the very least we can have a good laugh about it.
What Other Cultures Say About Aging
In many cultures around the world, there’s a different take on aging: instead of being devalued, elders are viewed with great respect and are seen as sources of wisdom and experience.
For example, in some Native American cultures, elders are considered the keepers of tradition and are often called upon to share their knowledge with younger generations. Similarly, in many African cultures, elders are revered for their wisdom and are considered to be the guardians of cultural heritage.
In Japan, older adults are viewed with respect and are often referred to as “sensei” or “teacher.”
In contrast, in many Western cultures, aging is often viewed as a negative thing – but there are some signs popping up around us that attitudes toward aging are beginning to change. For example, there has been a growing movement to recognize and celebrate the contributions of older adults, both in the workplace and in society as a whole. This has led to a greater recognition of the value of experience and a greater appreciation for the wisdom that comes with age.
There is also a growing movement of women who are committing to aging on their own terms. These women can be looked to as role models for those of us who are earlier on the journey.
There are so many benefits to getting older, and there are a lot of things we can do to cope with aging and grow old gracefully. By focusing on self-care, surrounding ourselves with positive influences, and embracing the changes that come with aging, we can age with grace and dignity, and continue to thrive as individuals.
The Paradox
Our disclaimer: Working towards acceptance of the aging process doesn’t mean you’re always happy about getting older. You can both build a healthy aging routine and work on your mindset, and still have a good cry or feel frustrated about the process from time to time. We’re humans after all, and we’re allowed to feel all the feels.
Also, understand that working towards accepting your aging process doesn’t mean avoiding procedures or interventions to change your physical appearance or reduce signs of aging. You can definitely have both a sense of inner peace about aging and also get Botox. But what’s important is to make sure that you’re not using plastic surgery or procedures as a Band-Aid or cover-up for deeper insecurities.
The most important thing you can do for yourself is to shift your internal narrative so you can find a place of peace and contentment with your own aging process. Then decide which, if any, procedures feel right for you.
Community Matters
As we grow older, it becomes increasingly important to form healthy habits that will help us age gracefully and enjoy life in our later years. However, this can be challenging to do on our own. That’s where community and support come in. By surrounding ourselves with like-minded individuals who share our goals and values, we can find the encouragement and accountability we need to stay on track.
Audre membership is an excellent solution for women looking to age well with confidence. As a community of women in their 30s and 40s, Audre provides a supportive environment where members can connect, share their experiences, and learn from one another. With resources like expert interviews, wellness courses, and exclusive events, the Audre membership empowers women to take charge of their health and well-being and live their best lives as they age.
By joining a community like Audre, women can benefit from the collective wisdom and experience of others who are going through similar life transitions. They can find inspiration and motivation to try new things and embrace new challenges. And most importantly, they can build meaningful connections with others who share their values and aspirations.
So if you’re a woman looking to age gracefully with confidence, consider joining Audre and start building your community of support today!